Just Kiss and Makeup

 Just Kiss and Makeup

Too Much Fighting and Not Enough Loving

Donald and Joe. All you seem to do is embarrass yourself by attacking each other. You want to argue. Get a room. Most of us are tired of it. Take your petty little differences and go to Aruba. Have a few cocktails together then kiss each other full on the mouth.

Do you really think anyone cares if you overinflate your Net Worth to make yourself seem important and successful, Donald? Anyone who has ever looked into your past knows that you are just a daddy’s boy who doesn’t pay his bills and bails when things get tough.

Joe, who cares if your son made bunches of money licking the balls of some questionable international leaders?

The funny thing is that I can actually picture the two of you ass kissing to enrich yourselves.

And when the two of you are fighting all your little minions seem to think they have to take sides. And then they want to fight with each other about stupid stuff too. So the next thing you know, instead of actually trying to fix the problems this County has; everyone is fighting to try to get to the top of the heap and somehow influence whoever is on top to do the right thing.

Although there was a time when I idealistically thought that this is the best country in the world. Guess what? We are not. Our children are taught a bunch of useless crap that no one will ever need. We put them in little boxes and try to turn them into little automatons to support an Economy that is mostly based on destroying the Earth.

So you two jokers think you are somehow different from each other? You are not.

 

In fact, it is very likely that if you would go to Aruba like a suggest for a weekend; you would likely become the first presidential faggots to be outed. I can easily see you getting drunk and then getting naked and discovering your feminine sides together. Both of you are easily verse.

 

So get to the real heart of the matter. You want each other. You want to take off your little monkey suits and get busy. Admit it and stop all this posturing. Break out the Vaseline and work it in there so we can all get on with our lives and you can move to France and live together for the last year of your lives in peaceful gay bliss.

Really the best thing for our country is that both Republicans and Democrats just admit that their entire agendas are based on getting laid. Underneath all the bickering and posturing there is just a little bit of desire. The desire to flock each other’s brains out. Admit to it and then get to it. Neither Party is following anyone. You just want to have sex with each other and everyone else.

 

Ironically, although the Republicans come off as being more conservative and wanting less government; this entire philosophy is based on the idea that if there is less government to run: there is more time to have sex with each other.

And while Democrats act like they want to help everyone, beneath it all is the hypothesis that if everyone had what they needed to survive; they would have more time to have sex. Democrats though are sometimes conflicted with this idea. They are more likely to want everyone having sex with each other so they can view all the amateur porn on PornHub that would be uploaded. Democrats sometimes need a little help getting into the mood.

Joe, you are just being way too closeted in your true desires. Your conflicts with Bernie are clear evidence that you like them old and wrinkled. It is pretty clear to the casual observer that both of your wives are just beards. I know that you can work things out. Instead of worrying about whether we can actually provide healthcare for everyone or people should be able to go to school for free; how about you both hole yourselves up in the White House for about an hour and explore your wrinkly old bodies together. Maybe if you have a little mutual masturbation session together and cum at the same time, you can figure out a way to help the rest of us.

In fact, I think that you, Bernie, Gregg, and Donald need to just set a weekly meeting that lasts two hours and have circle jerks together. After a few sessions, I am sure you can all gain a new appreciation for working together to accomplish something, anything.

Alexandria and Mitch. If there was any evident chemistry between two people; you are a perfect example. We can tell how you look at each other when you think that no one is looking, that you seriously need to get together somewhere in private and play doctor. Mitch can wear a nice white doctor’s lab coat and Alex, you can play the shy college student who thinks she may have contracted a nasty case of crabs and needs a thorough examination. We all know what will happen once Mitch gets a look at your personal garden of pleasure. He will become a fervent gardener with his crooked old tool.

Elizabeth and Joe M. That is some hot chemistry there. Joe M, why not invite Elizabeth down to the farm and show her how you milk the cows. Get her into the barn and show her how you are an expert at animal husbandry and making sure that no calf is left behind. Teach her how to see to it that if there are some reproductive challenges due to biological factors you are able to find a work around. Just work around her behind and give her a nice massage to get those juices flowing. After a few visits to the farm, I am sure you and her can find a way to agree on some things enough to actually do your jobs.

Gavin and Ron. You guys know how to fit all the foreign parts into place since your states are generally the most experienced with immigration. If you were to put your big heads and little heads together on the low down; it is likely that you could make some progress helping the Statue of Liberty fulfill her Promise. Remember her? She stands at the gates of one of the largest cities in the world and what does she say?

 

“Give me your tired, your poor,” the sonnet concludes, “Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, / The wretched refuse of your teeming shore. / Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me, / I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”

I have a short list of other people who could use their platforms to promote love and peace instead of foolish bickering and embarrassment:

Kanye West vs. Drake: These two rappers have been rivals for over a decade. They have competed for chart dominance, critical acclaim, and cultural relevance. The rivalry has been marked by public diss tracks, social media feuds, and even a physical altercation.

Taylor Swift vs. Katy Perry: These two pop stars were once friends, but they fell out in 2014 over a dispute over backup dancers. The rivalry has played out in public through songs, interviews, and social media posts.

Kim Kardashian vs. Blac Chyna: These two reality TV stars have a complicated relationship. Kardashian was married to Chyna's ex-boyfriend, Tyga, and the two women have feuded on and off for years. The rivalry has been marked by public insults, restraining orders, and lawsuits.

Cristiano Ronaldo vs. Lionel Messi: These two soccer players are widely considered to be the two best players in the world. They have competed for individual awards and team success for over a decade. The rivalry has been played out on the pitch and in the media.

LeBron James vs. Stephen Curry: These two basketball players are two of the most popular and successful players in the NBA. They have competed for individual awards and team success for over a decade. The rivalry has been played out on the court and in the media.

Just kiss and makeup you goofballs. Help our children learn that cooperation is better than fighting. Have a large orgy with each other and then edit it down for Youtube. This will satisfy in two ways. First, you are definitely going to get the attention you seem to crave. And maybe you will get off too so you can calm down and act like rational normal people.